As hard as it is to admit it, I’ve been stuck. Several years ago, I lost my “virtual” voice. My writing, blog posts and social media pages came to a halt. I found myself in the middle of an unpredictable storm. At times it was hard to walk through it. Eventually the storm passed and the skies cleared. Emotionally, it felt like my foundation had been cracked. I needed to rebuild.
Since then, a part of me has been caught in a cycle of overwhelming fear when it comes to writing. I have allowed the fear to hold me back. The ideas and words have continued to come to me every day. This is nothing new. Some people feel an urge to exercise, shop, eat, paint, dance, etc… I feel the urge to write. Then morning turns to night and nothing is released. Oh how I’ve longed to pick up the pen or type on my keyboard once again.
As far back as I can remember, I have been creative. Writing has been my passion. When I was a teenager, writing was my form of therapy for quite some time. Before I was able to speak my truth, I wrote my truth. It felt so freeing. It filled my spirit and gave me purpose.
Through this experience, I’ve learned that my creativity and “inner-writer” never left me. Somehow, the fear crept in and kept us apart. It deflated my courage, sense of security and self-worth. My inner-writer has been patiently waiting to reunite. My creativity was not as patient and took another route.
When the words were unable to find a way out, my creativity connected me with Coloring. About a year ago, I bought a couple Meditation Coloring Books as a different way to get back into meditation. I loved it! I ordered dozens of coloring books, packs of markers, gel pens, and when the creativity was really flowing, Prismacolor pencils. Coloring gave me a chance to put the pen to the paper again and create. What a beautiful process it has been.
I have felt a shift from within. I started working with a Life & Business Coach a few weeks ago. It reinforced what a powerful process coaching can be when I’m ready to change. One of the “ah-ha” moments came when my Coach helped me see how much my creativity was connected to my authentic-self. By tapping back into my creativity through coloring, I reconnected to a place within where my inner-writer was waiting. It was time to reunite.
I took a deep breath and asked my Higher Power to take the fear away. I felt love in my heart. I let go of the false beliefs. I felt the courage and inspiration come back to me. I released the negative thoughts and doubts. I gave myself permission to live in my truth. I embraced my creativity. And I wrote this blog post!