Overcoming the Fear

Life is full of ups and downs. With each experience we learn and grow. It is easy to play the victim and stay stuck in a situation. I used to be the “eternal victim” until I realized that I was responsible for my own actions. My mindset used to be “bad things always happen to me.” I was so stuck in this way of thinking.  I could not see that my choices led to situations that brought me pain. Once I learned how to step back and take the higher road, things changed. The blinders were removed and I saw things in a new way.  It took a lot of work, but I changed. And now, I help others discover who they are and change for the better.

All of us are here for a reason.  Some know what that reason is and others haven’t found it yet.  We all have dreams and goals, but many people not in touch with them.  Fear can keep us stuck in the same routine and environment for months and even years.  Where does that voice of fear come from?  For some it stems from lack of self-love, worth or esteem.  For others it is a voice of an abusive parent or parental figure from our childhood.  Giving power to that voice of fear can make it feel next to impossible to move forward.  It holds us back from finding our purpose, following our dreams and reaching our goals.  Some of us feel so trapped in those fearful thoughts that we stay in the same relationship, job, living situation and surround ourselves with the same friends. It can turn into an endless cycle.  But somehow it “seems” safe or comfortable.

The reality is that all of us can overcome the fear.  We all have an inner-strength.  We can let go of the fear and change.  It is just a matter of discovering what works for you.  One way is through life coaching.  A professional life coach can work with you on ways to move beyond the fear.  And in turn,  you will be able to create a plan of action to get from where you are to where you want to be.  “The possibilities are endless with how far you can go!”

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          To learn more about ways to overcome fear and creating positive changes in your life,
         contact Life Coach Jennifer Bridge, ACC for a free intro phone appointment at
         freelifecoachingcall@jenniferbridge.com or visit http://www.jenniferbridge.com
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Jav-A-Ha Moment

I only had two sips of my morning coffee before I attempted to get out of the car.  I was holding my keys in one hand and a couple of bags on my shoulder.  I opened the door to get out and the coffee slipped out of my hand and bounced across my legs and in the air before I could regain control of my cup.  (Luckily it was a recyclable to go cup with a lid.).  When the coffee incident was over, I had HUGE spots of coffee on my jeans, shirt, and car seat.  What a mess!  My immediate reaction was to laugh.  Yep, I laughed over spilled coffee.

It got me thinking about how much I’ve changed.  A few years ago, my reaction would have been very different.  I would have been so mad at myself for spilling the coffee and angry at everyone in my path the rest of the morning.  It was hard for me to let things go back then.  I could turn a small thing like spilling coffee into such a big deal.  But over the years, I’ve learned how to keep things right-sized in my life.  Getting upset does not serve me.  Instead, I can laugh it off, say “oops” and move on.  What a feeling!

How we react to things is a good way to recognize where we are on the barometer of life.  If I hadn’t spilled the coffee on myself this morning, then I would not have noticed my reaction.  Maybe it wasn’t an accident after all.  Maybe it was the universe sending me a Jav-A-Ha moment.

The Knots Prayer

I discovered “The Knots Prayer” and was touched by it, so I’m sharing it with you. I am not a religious person and this is not a religious prayer.  I see this as a collection of words that bring some freedom from the negative thoughts and doubts we have at times. 

I have found that I find things at the right time. It helped me today and I hope it helps you to.

Here it is…

Dear God,

Please untie the knots that are in my mind,

…my heart and my life.

Remove the have nots,

…the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots, may nots, and might nots that find a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots, would nots and should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all, dear God,

I ask that you remove from my mind my heart and my life all of the am nots that I have allowed to hold me back, especially the thought that I am not good enough.

Amen

~Author known to God

Leggo my Ego

This morning, I was reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.  The part that stood out to me was about nonreaction to the ego.  The way that he describes it really helped me to clearly see how often my ego gets in the way.  I am not my ego, but I tend to live through it at times.  The words “Leggo my Ego” keeps popping into my mind. 

This process of change is lifelong.  However, I believe that gaining awareness is the seed of change.  In order to put that change into action, I need to be ready to change, willing and patient with myself.  I also need to be able to see when my ego gets in the way or takes over and not react to it. 

Below is the powerful portion of the the book that I read earlier:

“Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but also of dissolving the collective human ego.  But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone’s behavior as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction.  When you realize it’s not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were.  By not reacting to the ego, you will often be able to bring out the sanity in others, which is the unconditioned consciousness as opposed to the conditioned.  At times you may have to take practical steps to protect yourself from deeply unconscious people.  This you can do without making them into enemies.  Your greatest protection, however, is being conscious.  Somebody becomes an enemy if you personalize the unconsciousness that is the ego.  Nonreaction is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook, or rather to look through.  You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his or her essence.” ~Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth

Spring into Action

 

  There are signs of life out there.  The buds are starting to bloom.  Birds are chirping in the morning.  It is lighter

  out longer now that we changed the clocks to daylight savings time. This is the perfect time of year to spring

  into action and do some deep cleaning, de-cluttering and letting go! 

 

 Ready to roll up your sleeves, open your mind and do some work?  Alright! Get the cleaning supplies, trash bags

 and tissues ready.  The plan is to do this from the inside out.  There is a connection between a cluttered mind and a     cluttered home.  Let’s start with the inside de-cluttering of the mind.  How much stuff are you holding onto emotionally?  After some time, we don’t even realize what thoughts are taking up room in our minds.  Like dust, dirt and grime, things   like resentments, unhealthy relationships and old beliefs can be wiped away.  In turn, you will feel lighter, brighter and  refreshed.

 

  Just like the clothes from many seasons ago that still take up space in your closet, old emotional baggage needs

  to be packed up and given away.  If it doesn’t fit who you are today, take a deep breath and let it go.  Begin to

  feel the freedom from within.

 

  When we get rid of the emotional stuff holding us back, we make room for more energy and positive thoughts. 

  Remember some of the old dreams that you buried deep in the back of the storage container in your mind? 

  Was fear and negative thinking preventing you from following those dreams?  De-clutter those false beliefs

  and turn those dreams into reality.

 

  Finding it difficult to see what emotional baggage is packed away in your mind?  It might help to find a

  quiet space where you can sit, light a candle, close your eyes open your mind.  Take deep breaths in and

  out as well to relax.  Ask yourself, “What old beliefs, thoughts, resentments and emotional baggage am I

  still holding onto?”  As it is revealed to you, allow it to come up.  If it no longer servers you, let it go. 

 

  Now lets spring into action on the outside.  Your home environment usually reflects how we feel within. 

  Is your home out of control? Is it organized and inviting?  It is good to take an honest look at the state of

  your home.  Sometimes clutter is a physical type of to-do list.  However, it is not necessary.  Over time,

  it can end up becoming an unproductive way to remind us of what needs to be done.

 

  Start with one room in your home.  Take a look around and decide what stays and gets cleaned, gets thrown

  out or given away.  Those are the main choices.  By doing one room at a time, you can take steps towards

  going through your entire home.  It doesn’t feel like such a big task.  Do one room a day or a few rooms a

  weekend.  Whatever works best for you.  Be sure to make it an upbeat activity.  Turn up the music and get

  started!  Go through closets, reorganize the pantry, throw out expired items in the kitchen, put away the

  winter coats and gear, switch the furniture around, dust off the shelves, clean the windows, fix leaky faucets,

  and spring into action.  (You get the idea?)

  

  If you have things to give away, donate or sell, do it fast.  Don’t give yourself the option to change your mind. 

  This is about letting go of that stuff, remember?  As the old saying goes, “one man’s trash is another man’s

  treasure.”

Forgiveness

This article was written by Life Coach Jennifer Bridge

forgiveness

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis Smedes

At some point in our lives, we all get hurt emotionally.  Until we forgive and get to the other side, it is nearly impossible to see the hold that it had on us.  Whether it is a friend acting disloyal, a significant other cheating, an employer laying us off or some other painful situation, life happens.  When we hold on to these experiences and become resentful, angry and re-feel the hurt and pain, we suffer even more.  It is easy to get caught in this vicious cycle of negativity.  For some people, it is easy to forgive.  For others, it takes a lot of work and time.  And some people never allow themselves to get to a place where they are able to forgive.

I think of forgiveness as an internal action that allows us to release negative emotions and reconnect to our spirit. Holding on to those painful parts of our past keep us from moving forward.  We get stuck in those overwhelming feelings.  We shut down and put up an emotional wall for protection.  But in reality, we shut out love and new opportunities to grow.

It is important to clarify what forgiveness is not as well.  Forgiveness is not forgetting.  As time goes by, it gets easier to ignore what happened and not think about it, but it is still there.  Forgiveness is the only way to free yourself and move on.

Forgiveness is not making excuses for what happened.  “They didn’t really mean to do it” or “They didn’t know better” are examples of some excuses you might tell yourself.  This mindset does not allow you to acknowledge the hurt and see it for what it really is and in turn, let it go.

Forgiveness is not justice or revenge.  Paybacks or getting even will not help you heal.  Hurting the person that hurt you might temporarily feel better, but it will ultimately bring you more pain. Forgiveness is a moral response to another person’s injustice.  It’s an inside job.

Forgiveness has the word “give” in it.  We give a gift to ourselves when we forgive others.  We give ourselves the freedom to move on and break the cycle of hurt we have been caught in.  We give ourselves a new perspective on life.  The darkness fades away and the world looks a little brighter through forgiving eyes.

Detour to Personal Freedom – Get Unstuck

At times, we all get stuck driving up and down the same path of thoughts in our mind. This can lead to feelings of frustration, anxiety, numbness and sadness.  Some of us stay stuck in this traffic of the mind way too long.  Whether it’s the freeway of fear, the side street of self pity, the road of relationships or an alternate route, we become trapped. How do we find the detour to break free? Freedom comes from awareness, letting go and moving forward.

The first step towards personal freedom and getting unstuck is to gain a true awareness.  Is there an area of your life that you feel stuck in?  Take some time to really think about it. Some examples are feeling stuck in a dead-end job, relationship, financial debt, unhealthy habits, resentment, the past and fear.  It might be difficult to step back and become aware of it right away.  Especially if you have gotten used to the repetitive cycle of unhealthy thought, feelings and patterns.

Once you become aware of what is keeping you stuck, you can begin the process of letting go of the illusion.  The reality is that staying stuck is a choice.  It might feel like there are no other options or ways to break free, but there are.  Let go of the false beliefs and fear. It is time to take a detour to a new path of thoughts in your mind.  Change your outlook and you will see endless roads of possibilities.

Letting go can lead to a shift in the way you feel about what kept you stuck.  That is the freedom that can be found from letting go.  Embrace it.  Now you’re ready to move forward.  The mind traffic is no longer there. Nothing is holding you back.  You are free and can move forward on whatever path you chose to take. Stay aware and you are less likely to get stuck in any mind traffic.  You have discovered the detour to personal freedom and are moving forward.

 

This article was written by Life Coach Jennifer Bridge.